What are you doing the rest of your life

I want to see your face in every kind of light
In fields of dawn and forests of the night
And when you stand before the candles on a cake
Oh, let me be the one to hear the silent wish you make

What are you doing the rest of your life?
North and South and East and West of your life
I have only one request of your life
That you spend it all with me

All the seasons and the times of your days
All the nickels and the dimes of your days
Let the reasons and the rhymes of your days
All begin and end with me

I want to see your face in every kind of light
In the fields of dawn and the forests of the night
And when you stand before the candles on a cake
Oh, let me be the one to hear the silent wish you make

Those tomorrows waiting deep in your eyes
In the world of love that you keep in your eyes
I’ll awaken what’s asleep in your eyes
It may take a kiss or two

Through all of my life
Summer, Winter, Spring, and Fall of my life
All I ever will recall of my life
Is all of my life with you

Living with Nothing to Prove

I am 26 years old….and I still don’t know how to truly be myself. I am not ashamed of exposing myself or admitting things about myself. I feel that it is often easier to simply blurt them out, instead of keeping them bottled inside (fear of opinions is such a buzzkill).  The only consequence is that it often makes other people feel extremely uncomfortable.
Yet and still, with all my live-out-loud bravado, I still feel quite unsure of those things that make up the person that I am, which (in turn) make me live less abundantly than I should. Why? I think that it has a lot to do with the culture that I grew up in. Curaçao, although a wonderful place to grow up, also limits people. There often isn’t any room to be different, which is something that I often am. As an adolescent, especially, it made me feel very disjointed as a person. I felt like I didn’t fit in anywhere or with anyone. It’s amazing to think that being multi-faceted could make someone feel confused, rather than well-rounded.
Of all the things that bothered and still bother me, the worst ones are the (unrealistic)expectations that are placed on a person regarding their appearance. I have a hard time conforming….and believe, me, I’ve tried and tried and tried. It’s so easy here in the U.S. for me, because I can dress in any crazy old way I want to. It’s not that people don’t judge you by your appearance, but the pressure is definitely less. I can be whomever I feel like being.
I guess that all of this talk is coming up because I will be going to Curaçao for three months over the summer. I haven’t spent that much time at home in about 7 years. I’m sure that it’ll be quite an experience. I have resolved to live my life:
with nothing to prove
with nothing to hide
with nothing to lose
I just hope that I can keep this up even in the face of adversity:)

Rapture

My vision
from which you escaped
blurred by
the unbearable darkness
you left behind.
Your smell lingering
in the small places
you caressed
rapidly,
slowly,
painfully beautiful.

Your absence
from which I suffer
sharpened by
the unbearable brightness
of memories.
Your voice echoing
in the warm hollow
of my neck.
Lips traveling
to the depths
of my being.

Your silence
the solitude
buried in the thrust
of my body,
the blueprint to
your life.

SCR

Update

Once again, it has been a while since I have written. School has been keeping me busy to the point of exhaustion. Who knew I could crank out so many research papers in so little time. In the meantime, I have made a somewhat feeble attempt at maintaining a social life. Now there are three more days left in the semester, which means three more days of work and one more research paper to finish……and lastly, four more days until I depart for Curacao!!!!! Yes, I am quite excited about this event…..I haven’t been home in 2 years and I can hardly wait. WOOT!!!!

In other news, I am an auntie again…I tell you, these siblings of mine…..hmmmmm……Check out the newest addition to the fam, Noah, @ http://riding-three.blogspot.com/. He’s gorgeous and looks just like my other brother.

That’s it for now……I hope to be back before I leave……